I don’t do bedtime at our house.

The kids brush their teeth and I give hugs and kisses to each of the them before they head upstairs.

Then, it is all Daddy time.

Our youngest, who is 9, will come to me for one last kiss goodnight. He gives a little side eye to his dad while he does it because the kiss isn’t really for me. It goes something like this:

9: *kisses me while looking at Daddy*
Daddy: *growls*
9: *kisses me again* I kissed your woman, Dad.
Daddy: Get away from my woman. *more growling*
9: *giggling uncontrollably, kisses me one last time*
Daddy jumps up and chases everybody, screaming, upstairs.

Once they are up there, there is a lot of laughing, crashing, yelling, and general chaos.

I used to feel extremely guilty about not doing the quiet, more traditional type of tuck ins with my kids. You know,  snuggled up with story time, one last drink of water, another story, maybe blow a sweet kiss from the door. Like all the other Moms do it, right?

I work from home so I get to take moments throughout the day with my boys, but my husband doesn’t always get them. The end of the day, the last minutes of their night before sleep, are his and I’m happy to step back and give them their space together. (I’m not being lazy about going upstairs to tuck them in. I’m being generous. See?)

There are plenty of traditional standards that we follow in our house, plenty of “things” we do as parents that follow the norm, but not everything is, or should be, the same for every family.

Find what fits for you and your family. If you like to snuggle and read before bed, do it. If you like to sit on the porch swing and have a chat before lights out, do it. If y’all like to pound a Mountain Dew before the kids hit the hay… you know what, it’s your circus and those are your monkeys. You do you.

Right now, I’m listening to what sounds like grizzly bears wrestling WWE style over my head. That will go on for another five minutes or so before they settle in for headbutts (it’s a guy thing, I don’t ask) and hugs goodnight.

I don’t do bedtime at our house and I don’t feel one bit guilty for it.

**What is your favorite family tradition? Leave a note in the comments!**



  1. Sharing is caring! Why should mums get all the bedtime snuggles? Sounds like you have it all figured out 🙂

  2. I love this. One of the things I realized when my ex and I got divorced was that there were so many places they weren’t stepping up to the plate as an equal partner/parent because I was t letting them. I stayed home with them. And they wanted me at bedtime, and I loved it and resented it. This is so much better.

    Our weird thing at our house is that I get up with everyone each day while my wife sleeps in, and I take them to school and daycare and stuff and then I and her up with tea, then after dinner I am the lazy parent. Still there but she’s leading the bedtime push, the homework, the bad cop. I water the grass and drink a beer and then show up for tuck ins like the heroic wonderful dad I am.

    People think it’s weird. We love it.

    1. Author

      It’s only weird if it doesn’t work. Isn’t that the saying? I say you do you and if y’all love it, amen!

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